Persuasive+Essay

brett strawn



Introduction/Conclusion

Brett Strawn

Rough Draft intro/conclusions

Intro: Have you ever read a book that was both heartwarming and suspenseful? What comes to mind when you think of separation because of religions? The book //The Boy In The Striped Pajamas// represents both of the topics very well, and should be taught in high school classrooms for many reasons. This was a rough time for certain people and it shows how important friendship is and how important communication can become between two people. By using my own knowledge the persuasion factor of should //The Boy In The Striped Pajamas// should be taught in high school.

Conclusion: Those are the reasons on why //The Boy In The Striped Pajamas// should be taught in high school. Although you still may think differently but think about these topics that were discussed and consider your answer and it still may be different or it could have changed. By using my own knowledge the persuasion factor of should //The Boy In The Striped Pajamas// should be taught in high school.

Rough Draft:

Have you *no yous in essays* ever read a book that was both heartwarming and suspenseful? What comes to mind when you think of separation because of religions? The book //The Boy In The Striped Pajamas// represents both of the topics very well, and should be taught in high school classrooms for many reasons. This was a rough time for certain people and it shows how important friendship is and how important communication can become between two people. When you think of the Holocaust what comes to mind? Unfairness, brutality, disaster? All of those thoughts are exceptional and apparent in the story The Boy With The striped Pajamas, which is important to read in your high school years. By using my own knowledge the persuasion factor of should //The Boy In The Striped Pajamas// should be taught in high school. **Awkward thesis -- be sure to rewrite**


 * Remove first and second person from the essay -- it should be facts only**

This book is important to read is because it shows no matter what religion you represent, everyone is made equally. For an example in the book The Boy With The Striped Pajamas the characters Shmuel and Bruno represent complete different religions, although this bump occurs it does not take any affect on how their relationship is. **run-on** The two characters talked for a year without being on the same side of a fence with one another and still were best friends. That is amazing and teaches people to respect one another no matter where they come from. Another huge **consider a different word** point about the two characters friendship was how much they had in common. They each had the same birth date and loved playing with other children their own age. This shows again how everyone is made equal because of the qualities they share. The communication these two boys had over the one-year span. After about three days of getting to know each other these two boys were talking to each other like they known each other for a lifetime and were best friends. It is amazing what people can accomplish when they block out all the little things that do not really matter. The Germans look upon the Jewish population as not human and people whom they would never interact with. Although this is true, the story of //The Boy In The Striped Pajamas// shows that even during the Holocaust, the worst time for the Germans and Jewish people, you **fix** can still have a great friend even if he or she is German or Jewish. Although some people may disagree with how the people in the Holocaust could have been friends during the Holocaust, but if one thinks about this subject it can be true **(?)**. If the people during the Holocaust acted and treated other like Bruno and Shmuel treated each other, there would not have been a Holocaust. One might think that the Holocaust could have been avoided. It could have if everyone did not think one was a higher rank than another.

Another reason why the book The Boy In The Striped Pajamas should be taught in high school is because it shows how two kids become best friends and shows true friendship. For an example Bruno and Shmuel bonded so closely over the year and showed each other true friendship. If people in the Holocaust treated each other like the two boys treated each other there would have been no chaos. On might think this statement might not be true and would think that these people could ever be friends, but anything can happen.


 * Paragraph needs more -- a bit repetitive from second paragraph**

Does one know how badly the people inside concentration camps were treated? One might not know this and by reading The Boy With The Striped Pajamas will provide this information for one **careful -- the book is a story, not history**. This story brings up many of occasions where someone was mistreated. For an example there is a character named Pavel and he is serving dinner to a family, he accidentally spills wine and was taking out of the room and brutally beaten. This was just one of the few incidents that happened in the story. People also struggled to survive each day. They would not know if they were going to survive that day from either being tortured or by starving. All in all the worst factor for the innocent people had to deal with the brutality of the soldiers day in and day out. The soldiers would just hurt the people in the concentration camps when they were weak. One might ask, what was going through their minds? How did they feel after hurting an innocent so bad? Those are the reasons why the book The Boy In The Striped Pajamas should be reading in highschools


 * This could be your third paragraph, with a new conclusion paragraph. These are good points that support your statement at length and should be mentioned in the body. You may want to consider merging the second and third body paragraph and make this the third.**

Final Draft:

One might have read a book that was both heartwarming and suspenseful? What comes to mind when you think of separation because of religions? The book //The Boy In The Striped Pajamas// represents both of the topics very well, and should be taught in high school classrooms for many reasons. This was a rough time for certain people and it shows how important friendship is and how important communication can become between two people. When one thinks of the Holocaust what comes to mind? Unfairness, brutality, disaster? All of those thoughts are exceptional and apparent in the story The Boy With The striped Pajamas, which is important to read in your high school. By using examples from the story, //The Boy With The Striped Pajamas// it will prove that the book should be read in high school. This book is important to read is because it shows no matter what religion you represent, everyone is made equally. For an example in the book The Boy With The Striped Pajamas characters Shmuel and Bruno represent complete different religions. Although is apparent this does not take affect in their relationship. The two characters talked for a year without being on the same side of a fence with one another and still were best friends. That is amazing and teaches people to respect one another no matter where they come from. Another major point about the two characters friendship was how much they had in common. They each had the same birth date and loved playing with other children their own age. This shows again how everyone is made equal because of the qualities they share. The communication these two boys had over the one-year span. After about three days of getting to know each other these two boys were talking to each other like they known each other for a lifetime and were best friends. It is amazing what people can accomplish when they block out all the little things that do not really matter. The Germans look upon the Jewish population as un-human and people whom they would never interact with. Although this is true the story of //The Boy In The Striped Pajamas// shows that even during the Holocaust, the worst time for the Germans and Jewish people, one can still have a great friend even if he or she is German or Jewish. Although some people may disagree with how the people in the Holocaust could have been friends during the Holocaust, although as good as these points are about how people are equal, one may think this subject cannot be true. If the people during the Holocaust acted and treated other like Bruno and Shmuel treated each other, there would not have been a Holocaust. One might think that the Holocaust could have been avoided. It could have if everyone did not think one was a higher rank than another. Another reason why the book The Boy In The Striped Pajamas should be taught in high school is because it shows how two kids become best friends and shows true friendship. For an example Bruno and Shmuel bonded so closely over the year and showed each other true friendship. If people in the Holocaust treated each other like the two boys treated each other there would have been no chaos. One might think this statement might not be true and would think that these people could ever be friends, but anything can happen. Does one know how badly the people inside concentration camps were treated? One might not know this and by reading The Boy With The Striped Pajamas will provide this information for one. This story brings up many of occasions where someone was mistreated. For an example there is a character named Pavel and he is serving dinner to a family, he accidently spills wine and was taking out of the room and brutally beaten. This was just one of the few incidents that happened in the story. People also struggled to survive each day. They would not know if they were going to survive that day from either being tortured or by starving. All in all the worst factor for the innocent people had to deal with the brutality of the soldiers day in and day out. The soldiers would just hurt the people in the concentration camps when they were weak. One might ask, what was going through their minds? How did they feel after hurting an innocent so bad? All in all this was a great story to read and very eye opening. One can learn a lot from this story in the sense of knowing what some of the people went through on a daily basis, and how a son of a German leader would also live on a daily basis. How would one feel if they were in Bruno’s shoes? How might have Shmuel felt when he actually met a true friend? By using examples from the story, //The Boy With The Striped Pajamas// it will prove that this book should be read in high school.